author's note: this is absolute nonsense, of the highest caliber. do not read if your silliness quotient has already been filled today.
mild spoilers, i guess, but this is so utterly nonsense that it might not matter.
apologies to mike nawrocki & larry boy. the original song ("The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything") can be found here.
go download it if you want to hear the tune. ^_^

The Florists Who Don’t Do Anything
(or, Veggie Tales meets Weiss Kreuz)

Yohji: *wearing flowershop apron, hair tied back* Kudou Yohji here. Joining me are Fujimiya Aya--

Aya: *arms crossed, scowling*

Yohji: Hidaka Ken--

Ken: *peace sign*

Yohji: And Tsukiyono Omi.

Omi: *beaming* Ohayo, minna-san!

Yohji: *draping arms around all their shoulders, with varying degrees of protest* And together we make up the infamous gang of bishounen, the Florists Who Don’t Do Anything!

Yohji, Aya, Ken, Omi: We are the Florists Who Don’t Do Anything!
We just stay at home and mind the shop.
And if you ask us if we do anything, we’ll just tell you...

Aya: *surly* We don’t do anything.

Ken: Well, I’m not a paid assassin , I don’t have a kitty code name,
and I’ve never sliced a mission target open with my claw,
See, I only work the day shift, and I’m not a secret agent,
and I’ve never seen a Takatori fall.

Momoe: *looks nervous*

All: ‘Cause we’re the Florists Who Don’t Do Anything!
We just stay home and mind the shop.
And if you ask us if we do anything, we’ll just tell you...

Yohji: We don’t do anything.
And I’ve never flung a garrote and I don’t wear bondage clothing,
and I’ve never had a Schreient lady up against the wall,
and I’m never undercover and I’ve never hit on Omi--

Omi: *blush*

Yohji: And I’ve never seen a Takatori fall.

All: ‘Cause we’re the Florists Who Don’t Do Anything!
We just stay at home and mind the shop.
And if you ask us if we do anything, we’ll just tell you... We don’t do anything!

Omi: Well, I’ve never had to cross-dress, and I’ve never hacked a program,
I just drive go-cart deliveries back and forth from City Hall,
and I never frenched my sister and I’m NOT a Takatori,
and I’ve never seen a Takatori fall!

Ken: Huh? What are you talking about? A Takatori?

Omi: *sweatdrop* Oro...

Aya: And who ever kissed their sister? That’s just nonsense! Why even bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?

Yohji: *appraisingly* I think you look gay. Your hair color’s not natural, is it?

Aya: *dangerously* What?

Ken: *grin* He dyes it.

Aya: *reaching for his katana* Do not!

Omi: *edgy* Aya-kun, not in the shop--

Aya: *advancing on them* And I’ve never dyed my hair red and I don’t use Manic Panic,
I don’t wear my sister’s jewelry and I’m really not this tall,
and I’ve never shouted "shi-ne!" and I don’t jump off of buildings...

Yohji: *sotto voce* --like hell you don’t.

All: And we’ve never seen a Takatori fallllllllll!

Yohji: *cheerily* Pass the hydrangeas! Has anybody seen the bleeding hearts? *waggles an eyebrow at Ken*

Ken: *fakes injury, hand over heart* Ya got me! *swoons*

Aya: *accidentally catching him, in the right place at the right time* Oi. Back to work, minna. Ahem. *drops Ken, surreptitiously kicks his katana underneath the counter*

Omi: *carrying an armful of flowers* Here they are, Yohji-kun.

Yohji: Much obliged, bishounen. *kisses the top of Omi’s head, who giggles*

Ken: *still on floor, chuckling* Yes sirree, nothing extraordinary about us.

~fin~

by llamajoy & Tenshi
weiß kreuz
b i s h o n e n i n k