"Not bad fa a greasy spoon," Rowen announced, glancing around the restaurant.

Sage picked up the spoon on his paper napkin and examined it closely. "My utensils appear sanitary."

Rowen put his face in his hands and mumbled something; Sai smiled and managed not to laugh. "Sage, it’s just a term... a figure of speech."

"Oh." Sage was unruffled. He replaced the silverware precisely where it had been, and lifted the menu as if worried it might be venomous. His gold brows were drawn together in concentration. "Hn."

"Mornin’ dolls." Five glasses of water were set on the table and distributed by a plump, pretty waitress. "You’re out awful early!"

Sage glanced at her just barely, over the edge of the laminated menu. Kento, elbows plunked firmly on the formica, beamed at her, and winked.

"Well, we figured we’d get here before your fan club does, gorgeous."

Sai Elbowed Kento abruptly. "Behave!" he turned apologetic eyes to the pleased blushing waitress. "Don’t mind him, miss... he’s only been out of the institution a few days."

"Hey!"

She laughed cheerfully, pulling out her check pad and clicking her ballpoint. "Looks like he might need mindin’ after all! What can I get for ya, shugah?"

Kento beamed and ordered half the menu without batting an eyelash. Rowen asked for pancakes and Sai requested hot tea and an omelet. Ryou was sulking because they’d had to leave White Blaze in Japan and only got OJ and cereal.

The waitress wrote it all down dutifully and gave an inquisitive look to the anonymous possessor of the soft blond hair. Sage lowered the bill of fare enough to blink at her.

"What is grits?" he inquired.

"Grits?" she pondered this. "Funny, had them since I was a kid but I couldn’t tell you really what they ARE... Made from corn I think... really good." She smiled helpfully.

"Hnn." Sage folded the menu with a snap and handed it back to her as though performing a Kabuki move. "Hot tea and a grapefruit, please."

Rowen held in his irritated sigh until the waitress had disappeared into the diner kitchen. "Sage, you are the most unadventurous wet blanket I know. Can’t ya EV’A try somethin’ new?"

Sage regarded his water quietly, watching condensation run down the glass and puddle on the table. "Why do you say that, Rowen?"

"News flash, Sage, ya in AMERICA. Ya think ya could maybe TRY something American? Cultural chicken shit."

"If you are suggesting," Sage snapped politely, "That I put on Harley Davidson motorbike t-shirt and Neekehs-"

"Nikes," Ryou admonished absently, looking down at his outfit and wondering why Sage had chosen to pick on him. It was a NICE Harley-Davidson shirt! Lots of flames.

"They’re named for the goddess of victory," Sai piped in, supplanting Rowen as storehouse of useless facts.

"Western Deities," Sage retorted," Are of no interest to me. Neither is this... excursion you have seen fit to drag me on. I wanted to go to Florence."

"To stare at fritos of naked dudes," Kento muttered, poking at the duct tape that had been used to mend the red vinyl booth.

"Frescoes," Sage corrected balefully.

"Toldja we shoulda left him at home." Kento complained quietly to Sai.

"Mia wanted two weeks to herself, can you blame her? She IS paying for it."

"Sage, theh’s cultural pride an’ then theh’s snobbery. Ya bein’ an obnoxious arrogant snob. An unless ya wanna make yaself and everybody else effin’ miserable, I suggest ya chill out, take the foreign object that isn’t one of my toys OUT of ya ass, and learn ta enjoy a change of scenery. If not, weh gonna leave you by the side of the road next to Lester’s ‘Possum Park."

"Rowen..." Sage used the tone of Death.™

"Gezz, Sage, haven’t you ever been on a vacation before?" Ryou vainly attempted to diffuse the impending bloodshed. "I never guessed you to be a homebody. I know your last trip to America wasn’t great but this is supposed to be FUN! Eating fruit loops isn’t going to KILL you!"

Sage’s arched eyebrow implied that Ryou might not live to see that proven. "I’ve been on... vacations..." He blinked thoughtfully, having a bad feeling that his argument was thinning. "When I was out of school my grandfather would take me to Hokkaido to train."

The sweatdrops on the other four were practically visible.

"That’s not a vacation, that’s WORK!" Kento exclaimed.

"Haven’t you ever been someplace just for the sake of going?" Sai queried Sage gently, scolding the others with his frown. "Quit being so hard on him... I don’t think he even knows how to have a holiday."

Sage shrugged Sai’s hand off his shoulder. "Of course I haven’t. What’s the point in just wandering aimlessly?" Sage found himself wishing for the waitress to come distract his compatriots from the Japanese inquisition.

"A journey fa the sake of the journey, Sage, Ya studied Zen shit, you should know ‘bout that. We ain’t asking ya ta change citizenship or nuthin... just enjoy bein’ where ya are. It’s good for ya."

Sage glared without effect, having no answer to that and frustrated that they knew he didn’t. A few years ago he would have gotten up and stomped out... perhaps he had changed. The waitress saved him from further inquiry by bringing their order over. Kento and Ryou pondered the strange physics of sausage gravy, and Sage delicately attacked his slice of citrus.

Rowen and Sai, however, exchanged a quiet glance, intent and plans in perfect unity. They’d decided the night before that Sage needed a wake-up call to the rest of the planet. And they were going to do the dialing...

tbc...

by Tenshi no Korin
yoroiden samurai troopers
b i s h o n e n i n k