On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night

Where the hell was he? It looked like parts of America that he'd seen in pictures, certainly there was no part of Japan that was flat from horizon to horizon. There were maybe mountains in the distance, large lumbering piles of rock that made him feel even more like a bug on a petri dish than he would if they weren't there. Sunset was bleeding to death in the distance, dampening the sky with crimson. He didn't know how he knew it was sunset and not sunrise, he had no notion of east or west. But as his sneakers thudded through the dust by the side of the road, the red burned into purple and bright alien stars punctured the sky in myriad pinpricks. He wasn't sure how long he walked, or would walk, or had been walking, but his hands were in his pockets and the wind that rumpled his hair was cool and kissed secrets against his cheek.

The wind knew where Yusuke was. That didn't mean it would tell him.

Night was bright in a wild, outdoor sort of way, not bright like the city but with full pouring moonlight and glimmering stars that illuminated strange shapes by the roadside. He would pelt over the broken asphalt of the road to see what they were; and though they moved and breathed and beckoned at a distance, on close inspection they revealed themselves as mere piles of rock, bushes of brilliant flowers with nightbreathing intoxicating blossoms, or tumbleweed that was taking a breather.

He kept walking, watching the small puffs of dust that rose around every step he took, listening to no sound but the wind slithering around stone and the beat of his own heart. The wind threw his hair into his eyes and he swore softly. He rushed one hand through his bangs, wishing for some gel to control the unruly stuff.

So very tired.

Something flashed out of the corner of his eye, something that wasn't there, a dim, beguiling twinkle. His feet left the side of the road, his mind not pausing to ask what he was following.

Temple Bells? Yusuke looked up to the sky out of habit, but the stars were acquitted of the dark sonorous tone. From inside the castle the sound reverberated and faded, and the hair on Yusuke's forearms stood straight up as the wind caught it and pushed it back against him. He was sure the syllables of his name echoed somewhere from off the distant mountains. From the castle gate there was the soft sound of music, and much more comforting, a familiar voice asking if his name was Yusuke.

Castle? When did the castle get here? "Hai..." he managed, trying to puzzle out the convoluted sculpture on the gateway, and get a glimpse of the speaker. Light flared, blinding him.

"This way, please." A figure hove into view, and Yusuke started, then smiled, realizing it was just Botan on her oar, holding a lantern in one hand.

"Botan!" Yusuke stepped forward, grinning wildly. "Man am I glad to see you- this places is fucking freaky and I have no idea where-"

"This way, please," Botan repeated, with a bit more stress on the way to indicate that she wasn't used to repeating herself. Without a single gesture to indicate that she knew Yusuke at all, she turned her oar and glided slowly away, clearly expecting to be followed.

Yusuke was frozen to the spot for the moment, but hurried to catch up when he realized she must have captured moonlight and stars both in her lantern; a thick, impenetrable darkness nipped just at his heels, swallowing the carefully raked gravel path behind him.

Strange murmurings reached out of the surrounding dark to brush invisible fingers against him, warm movement of air kissed down his neck and curled around his thighs. Yusuke, keeping the end of Botan's oar no more than a foot or so away from his shoulder, didn't know whether to be turned on or scared to death. The voices followed him, coyly snide comments cryptically remarking on the flavor of his blood or the color of his skin.

"Where the hell am I?" He wondered aloud, and Botan turned to glance at him. The set of her not very nice smile seemed to imply that he'd just stated the obvious.

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel California
Any time of year, you can find it here

They passed through a set of giant double doors and into a long hallway; Yusuke thought his sneakers and his pounding heart were warring over which could make the largest clamor. Doors held their breath as he walked by, tunnels spiraled off at impossible angles, and voices pulled at him from every direction.

Botan stalled by a side gate, gesturing him through. "Wait here," she commanded shortly, and vanished out of sight.

Yusuke frowned after her. Really, he didn't know what he'd done to get her in such a snit. Girls were so weird. He thought carefully if he might have missed her birthday or something, that usually was the cause of random abuse from Keiko, but then he remembered that Botan was centuries old and even if he HAD remembered her birthday, what the hell does one get for an immortal underworld guide? He gave up trying to figure out the female species, turning to see what kind of place he'd been left to tarry in. His breath caught sharply as he found himself pinned by multiple pairs of gem-hard hotly glowing eyes.

"Well well, what have we here. Isn't it pretty?" immaculate nails as sharp as needles lifted Yusuke's chin, gold eyes narrowed with interest as his hair was sniffed curiously. The voice was somewhat darker but he knew it, despite the different form it came from. And that ki was unmistakable, adorned as it was with a leafy backdrop and a pair of silver fox ears. Yusuke tried not to shudder harder at the hot puff of breath against his temple, forcing himself to swallow and get the words out cleanly.

"Kurama. What's going on here?"

The youko laughed with delight, tossing his silver hair and smiling back at his companions. Yusuke could only see the eyes of most of them, glimmering in the garden foliage, but he could hear the soft gasps and sighs and could figure out what was going on. Bits of long, pale limbs flashed in the havoc of greenery. Hiei glanced up at him, sprawled in a wrought-iron chair and sneering faintly into his chalice. "Ch'." He dismissed him, yawning with boredom as he watched a particular set of tense thighs in the hydrangeas.

"Look Hiei, it thinks it knows me!"

"It's just another fucking Ningen, Kurama, what do you want with it?"

"I should think you'd know by know," Kurama drawled, as Hiei just shrugged and chose a strange fruit from the laden table in the middle of the walled garden. He thumped his feet on the table and began to peel the purplish orb with his teeth; the juice dark as blood as it spilled down his chin.

Yusuke jerked his jaw out of Kurama's hand, ignoring the clean slices the Youko's claws made on his cheek. "Alright, is this some kind of sick joke or what, Kurama. Hiei, what's going on?"

"And it thinks it knows you too! How fascinating." Kurama draped himself over a chair next to Hiei, eyeing Yusuke like a delicacy. From a tangle of roses behind him came a soft broken cry of fulfillment, and the corners of Kurama's mouth tipped up ever so slightly. "Now then, in this place that you know me, what did I call you?"

Yusuke ground his name out between gritted teeth.

"Yusuke! What a charming name." Youko Kurama's smile tightened, showing the tips of his teeth. "You really must tell us all about it.. what interesting adventures you must have dreamed up for all of us. Were we good friends? Oh!" Kurama leaned forward, spearing a berry with one perfect nail. "Maybe we were enemies," he purred, gold eyes darting sideways to Hiei. The fire demon drug his hand over his mouth, leaving a wet red smear.

"Maybe we killed him."

"You did not!" Yusuke snapped, slamming his hand down on the table, making the bowl of fruit jump. "We're friends!"

"I knew he was delusional," Hiei snorted, pressing the tip of his tongue against one fang, testingly. Ruby fire eyes surveyed the column of Yusuke's throat so intently that Yusuke found his sneakers backing up on the garden path, one hand fluttering protectively to his neck.

"I'm sure he does," Kurama said, in answer to some unspoken query. "But I wonder if he'd be willing to play with us." He sucked the berry off his nail, his jaw contracting as he drained the juice out of it.

Yusuke felt hemmed in despite the open air of the garden, his breathing quickening inexplicably as the two people he trusted and called friend wound themselves together in a fierce kiss. Hiei gave a small feral grin, his mouth closing on Kurama's neck as the Fox Demon held up waves of platinum hair to grant the koorime access. Kurama's eyes slid almost closed, a muted moan drifting from his lips as Hiei's teeth dug into his throat. Yusuke wasn't braced for the jolt of arousal, shooting down his spine and tightening between his legs.

Hiei's bite turned into a slow lick, both gold and crimson eyes fixed on Yusuke, watching his reaction. A narrow hand slipped beneath the loose band of Kurama's pants, the youko starting and sighing in pleasure, twisting under the caress.

The voices from the garden urged him to stay, to watch, to join... he would be a sweet dancer, few of his kind had this chance, surely he would like to take it. To take whatever he liked, to be taken, to know the prick of fangs in his throat and the tickle of sharp nails along the insides of his thighs... so sweet, so hard.. he could almost feel it now...moving into him like Kurama was moving into Hiei, the fire youko grinding his hips against Kurama's lap.

Yusuke tore his eyes away from the seduction in front of him, inviting him, pulling him in. Hiei and Kurama were twined around each other, bodies joined, hungry eyes still fixed on him.

"Yusuke," Kurama whispered, holding out one hand. He said it again, in a broken moan, as the body straddling his arched forward roughly. Hiei smiled like a sated predator and ran the tip of his tongue over his lips.

Yusuke turned and fled for his life.

He smacked straight into the back of Botan's oar, and she glared at him irritably. "What are you doing, running around on your own? I won't be responsible for you if you get lost."

"Botan, Hiei and Kurama they-" Yusuke's words faltered at her raised eyebrow. "They were..."

"You ran into those two?" She tossed her ponytail, laughing a bit. "Maybe you are lucky, Urameshi Yusuke." She hovered a few feet ahead, her voice floating with amusement behind. "Most Ningen they would have eaten alive."

"...eaten?" Yusuke managed. His voice sounded very small to him.

"You would have enjoyed it very much, I'm sure. Now stop dawdling, Koenma-sama is waiting. And I wouldn't recommend making him wait."

Yusuke kicked into a run, trying to keep up. Koenma, great. If there was anybody who could explain this, it was Koenma. He was probably behind the whole joke, anyway.. what, was he gonna have Keiko pop out of a cake or something?

Botan alighted by an ominous black-wooded door, and knocked, bowing and gesturing in Yusuke at the tone of a small bell.

Yusuke grinned, sure it was all a prank of Koenma's. Leave it up to the half-pint pacifier chibi-reject-

The door swung open.

-with polished amber eyes and soft brown hair and a slender body draped so elegantly in his black velvet chair that Yusuke was suddenly envious of the upholstery. "Ko... Koenma?"

His eyes flicked up from the sheet of paper he held in front of him, sultry mouth not occupied by the usualbauble turning down in a slight frown. "Your manners leave something to be desired, Urameshi Yusuke. Iwould not advise that you address me so informally in the future." He set the parchment aside with a rustle of paper, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his marble desk, steepling his fingers. "But you have had a difficult time of it, so I will excuse such oversights. For now."

Yusuke, dumbfounded, managed to close his mouth. "But-"

"Now then." Koenma slipped out of the chair and strolled across the room, boot heels clicking faintly on the tessellated tile. "Please. Have a seat."

Yusuke crumpled into the nearest chair, feeling rather giddy.

"Would you like a drink?"

He blinked at the wineglass held out in front of him, the dark burgundy liquid inside making him think toovividly of Hiei's stained lips. His stomach lurched, and he shook his head.

"Suit yourself." Koenma settled into a seat across from him, taking a slow sip from his glass. Yusuke's eyes, under the fringe of bangs, watched the motions of his throat intently. Surely this wasn't Koenma... the ki was right, but the power level was more blatant, and darker. And the way he moved, and spoke... the shadow of his eyelashes... it was all so ~sensual.~ Yusuke shivered in sudden cold, chilled by something preternatural, flushing despite the prickling of his skin.

"You've had a remarkably uninteresting life, Urameshi Yusuke, but I think you might prove quite useful. I'm prepared to offer you a job." Koenma swirled his wine thoughtfully.

"But.. I'm already a reikai tantei..." Yusuke was dead certain he was dreaming now, and pinched the inside of his palm, hard. It hurt like blazes, and he did not wake.

"Are you. How amusing. No one informed me I had hired you."

"But you DID hire me. Koenma-"

The lord of the dead glared at him.

"-Sama." Yusuke added belatedly. "Please, tell me what's going on? If this is some test or a trial or a JOKE it's way past being funny." Yusuke knew somehow he should be pissed, but the sheer weird factor had reduced him to just baffled.

"A Joke? Do you see anyone laughing, Urameshi-san?" Koenma almost purred, dipping a pale finger in hisglass and licking the dark wine off again. "I think you might be suffering from some kind of spiritual trauma. We'd better get you some dinner and then you can sort out your options, alright?" He set down the glass, leaning forward and smiling. "You've had a rough trip and this place is admittedly quite strange."

Koenma actually almost sounded like himself there, and Yusuke felt his heart contract. He was gorgeous, not with the mind-blowing beauty of Kurama or the predatory sensuality of Hiei. But the angle of his eyes and the aristocratic sweep of his jawline were perfectly mesmerizing, just human enough to entrance and beguile without the edge of unnatural charisma. Yusuke was deeply relived that back in the Real World, Koenma didn't look like this.

Otherwise he'd be done for.

"Thank you," He murmured to his hands.

"Botan will show you to your room." Koenma brushed the back of his hand over Yusuke's cheek. "Sorry if I gave you a start.. stress, you know." He smiled pleasantly. "It makes one a bit snappish."

Yusuke nodded and turned to go, the side of his face burning at the contact. He only caught the edge in Koenma's smile as the door swung shut with ominous thunder.

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
They livin' it up at the Hotel California
What a nice surprise, bring your alibis

"You're to stay here." Botan gestured to the room, an expansive chamber with a decidedly un-Japanese opulence. "Did Koenma-sama offer you a job?"

Yusuke nodded blankly, memorizing the room. It was a dangerous sort of chamber, lots of places to hide and sneak and not be discovered.

Botan nodded, hovering on her oar. She had been much friendlier after his audience with Koenma. "Actually, I'm surprised that's all he offered you."

Yusuke shot her a glance, but she was only smiling coyly to herself. "At any rate, get cleaned up and I'll be back to fetch you for dinner... It's sort of a formal affair, you should be honored to be there."

"Honored," Yusuke grumbled to himself. "Yeah." He was wishing devoutly for a McDonald's. After the experience in the garden, his mind had come up with all sorts of unsavory options as to what might be served at dinner.

"I'll send someone to help you," Botan offered, and floated out the doorway, kimono sleeves flashing in the hallway's gloom.

"Help me?" Yusuke murmured, and whirled as he sensed presences behind him.

"Hai." The first boy bowed deeply, violet hair spilling in a rush to the floor. His companion, an exact twin but with azure locks, was already running a bath.

Yusuke ran a hand through his hair.

This place was getting freakier all the time.

Yusuke managed to get cleaned up without violating his attendants, but damn if they didn't make it difficult. He sighed expansively, flashing the scenes back in his mind and wondering how much be-boy would pay for manga shots like that.

So very tempting, but all it took was the image of Keiko's face and he could fend off what the boys were obviously there for. Despite their skills at getting him into the strange fluid clothing and working all the kinks out of his back, their true talents were no secret.

Yusuke didn't know ANYBODY could hold his breath that long.

And now wasn't it cozy in here?

The main dining hall seemed to be made entirely of mirrors, all set at so many angles that Yusuke couldn't tell how many people were really in here. Only Koenma, Kurama and Hiei, Botan, and himself occupied the main table. From beyond came the laughter of others, the chink of crystal and a chime of steel that sounded almost like swordplay.

Of the lot of them, it was odd to find the presence of the Lord of the Dead to be the most comforting.

He was drinking champagne with the rest of them, not because he liked the fizzy girly stuff, but because he was desperately thirsty and it gave him something to do besides face those insufferable smirks. Dinner had yet to arrive.

"You'll get used to it," Kurama leaned over and murmured to him, silver waves of hair tumbling over Yusuke's shoulder. "Of course we're all captives, but when the cage is so bright what does it matter?"

"It's still a cage," Yusuke growled, screening the shifting room to keep track of where the door was. "Humans don't do well in cages."

He very much didn't like the condescending way they all smiled.

"Well, have you given any thought to my offer?" Koenma gestured to someone camouflaged in the mirrors, and a set of five gold goblets appeared on the table.

"I.. hadn't really had the chance." Yusuke tried not to be too obvious about his edging away from the table; all of them had produced long, razor sharp blades that flashed in the candlelight.

Five goblets, so if they were going to kill him, who was the extra guest? Yusuke could no longer rely on these people, he didn't know who they were, but they were not his friends.

Koenma laughed softly and produced another knife, handing it to Yusuke with a slight bow. "Really, you mustn't think the worst of us. You aren't the entrée!"

"Maybe just dessert," Yusuke replied, only barely politely taking the utensil. Koenma's smile froze just a little.

"You should be careful," He warned, quietly.

Yusuke pondered the blade and wondered if he could slit his own throat before they got to him.

Koenma made another sweep of his hand, a covered rectangular mass descending from the ceiling to land with a soft thump on the table. Yusuke recoiled, expecting the worst as Botan and Kurama pulled away the satin covering.

A long, narrow scaled body, silver-plates flashing with iridescence. The dragon thrashed in golden chains that looked more like jewelry than confinement, and hissed its fury at the head of the table.

Koenma laughed at it.

It rolled fiery eyes at Yusuke, and somehow he understood the rage and helplessness imprisoned there. Such a thing should not be in chains. It keened softly at him, showing needle teeth.

~Set Me free, and I will kill you. It is a favor I do you to offer.~

Yusuke had already aimed his blade for the closest of the chains when the dragon twitched and screamed in madness, shaking the mirrors of the room.

Hiei pulled his knife out of a quivering flank and tipped his chalice under it.

Yusuke was horrified. "At least kill the thing first!"

Kurama swiped a finger across the slit in the scales, catching a streak of the silver blood that rushed into the gold goblet. "Silly Ningen, what would we live on, then?"

"We have to keep it ALIVE," Botan giggled.

Yusuke's knife clattered to the floor when they realized they were all filling their cups.

He was in hell.

"Now then, you needn't be squeamish." Koenma held out the fifth goblet, filled to the brim. "It's a natural human reaction but I assure you it will pass."

The dragon moaned in pain.

~You and I are the only things here that are alive.~

Yusuke's hand shot out, knocking the cup to the floor and spilling the precious contents across the mirrored floor. "Never! NEVER!"

Koenma's arm looped around Yusuke's waist, hauling their bodies together. "You have no concept of 'never', Yusuke. You have no concept of anything at all." His mouth clamped down over Yusuke's, burning with the silver liquid. Still hot and sweet with the dragon's fiery warmth, Koenma's tongue slipped into him, forcing him to taste, to feel. Yusuke struggled despite the heat rising in him, the laughter of the room spinning in his ears.

"You like it, don't you. You could have it every night.. you could have me every night." Gold hypnotic eyes traced the features before him, slack with a mix of pleasure and fear. "All you have to do is say yes."

"Keiko..." Was all Yusuke could manage.

The gold eyes darkened with wrath.

~I told you so~ the dragon warned.

The mirrors began to crack.

Run. Run. Run. Yusuke's heart tripped with every smack of his shoes against the floor, back in his old clothes as the rooms began to melt away. Bits of broken glass sprinkled from his jacket to leave a sparkling trail, blood threaded in a thousand minute cuts on his hands and face.

He had broken free and crashed though the nearest wall, then ran like the demons of hell were at his heels.

And of course they were.

He risked a glance behind him but the hall was empty; they had stood there and let him flee, not even trying to stop him.

Yusuke had a very bad feeling about that.

He skidded to a halt at a four-way, arms flailing to keep his balance. Which way? He glanced in every direction, listening for pursuit but hearing only his own heart and labored breathing. From his right there was a faint breeze, as of fresh air. Yusuke didn't pause, and followed it.

There! Dawn, he was sure of it, sweet and pink as cherry petals and a rushing wind like a spring morning after rain. It ruffled his hair, god it felt so good and pure and human, he could cry. The walls spilled out behind him as he fled, melting like mist behind him, and there was the door, wide open, he only had to pass through it-

"Stop!"

Yusuke struggled, grinding glass deeper into his cuts. "Let me GO! Koenma, damn you, LET ME GO!"

"Yusuke." Koenma looked at him levelly, the calmness of his tone slicing through Yusuke's mind. "Yusuke. Watch where you're going."

Yusuke blinked at him in bafflement. Koenma's expression was somber, his voice concerned. Yusuke stared down past Koenma's arm holding him back, and his stomach quavered. Infinity sprawled out beyond the gate, an endless plummet into nothing just inches from his toes. His knees went weak, and Koenma held him up.

"You can't leave, Yusuke. You can't ever leave." Koenma seemed saddened to say so, and despite the turn of kindness and the drop one step away Yusuke began to thrash again.

"You can't keep me here! I'm a Human being damn it, you have to let me go back!"

Koenma's gold eyes bronzed with pity. "You've had quite a scare and a run, Yusuke. Shouldn't your heart be pounding?"

"Well of COURSE it's pound-" Yusuke froze, listening desperately for the hammer of his pulse. The only sound was the endless wind.

"You are one of us, Yusuke. And you can never go back."

"No," Yusuke whimpered, pressing a hand to his chest. His hair tumbled around him, long as Kurama's. Nothing stirred beneath his palm.

"You can never go back."

NO!!!

BLAM!!

"URAMESHI! Will you shut the fuck up?"

Yusuke started and promptly fell off the couch, onto Ikichi, who hissed and swiped at him irritably.

"Ow! Bastard!! What did you hit me for!!?"

"Because you were screaming like a girl, that's why!" Kuwabara thumbed down in front of the TV, restarting his game. "Gods above, can't you have nightmares like normal people?"

Nightmare.

It was the sweetest word Yusuke had ever heard.

"Are you alright?" A soft voice inquired over his shoulder.

"GYAAAA!!!" Yusuke grabbed at his chest, unutterably relived to feel his heart thundering. "Kurama.. don't sneak up on me like that!"

Green eyes blinked at him in puzzlement. "It was probably all that junk food you had!" Kurama decided, and drifted over to the window where Hiei sat, nursing a pint of Hagen Daas.

Yusuke sank his head into his hands, giggling suddenly. Of course it was a dream. Just imagine KOENMA... he snickered a little harder. And Kurama and Hiei, oh yeah RIGHT! Yusuke rolled on the floor and laughed so hard he managed to convince himself it wasn't in relief.

"Urameshi! Have you lost your frigging mind? UUUGH! What're you hugging me for!?"

"Kuwabara, have I ever told you what a great pal you are?"

"Uggh! Urameshi! Stop LOOKING AT me like that! Hey! Back off! What are you, a fucking qu-"

"I did what you asked." Hiei said, not taking his eyes from the window.

"Thank you." Kurama answered.

There was a long pause between them. "His subconscious is darker than he knows," Hiei volunteered unexpectedly, and flashed Kurama a smile. "And very interesting.. for a Ningen. I'll have to tell you about it sometime." He tugged his headband more securely over his jagan.

"All you had to do was plant the seed. His mind picked the story." Kurama sighed. "I'm only sorry it was so rough on him."

"Why?" Hiei asked, curious. Kurama never did anything without reason.

"Look at them." Kurama gestured to Kuwabra and Yusuke, wrestling and laughing amid forgotten game controllers and popcorn crumbs. The stereo was still playing Kuwabra's beloved Eagles album. "They think we're like them. Their minds are hung up in good and evil, not human and spirit, Ningen and youko. They think because we are their friends that we are safe, but that is not the case. Good or Evil, ningen blood in my veins or no, we are still youko. No matter who we fight beside, we are still demons." Kurama smiled faintly at Hiei's somber look. "And no matter how we speak of our superiority, they are the lucky ones."

"Hn." Hiei turned back to the stars. "'But you can never leave'."

Kurama reached out and gently touched Hiei's hair. "Tell me what he dreamed, and I'll bring you another pint of Mocha Twist."

Hiei grinned, flashing fangs.

"Deal."